That was French, okay? You’re stupid.

So, the Kilby’s and I’s – inspired by a recent rift with our moderately insane landlord over a broken toilet – are considering moving. Seriously considering it. The rental market here is really good right now. I never thought I would be that guy/girl and say ‘the rental market is really good right now,’ but there I go.A brief search already proves we’re right – we could totally find a 3 bedroom in the hood, or greenpoint even, WITH A YARD AND DISHWASHER EVEN AND NOT MIDGET CEILINGS for the same price, if not a little less!

We will begin, perhaps, with a guided tour of one of the recently-erected luxury buildings in the area, who have drastically reduced their rates to fill the apartments. We’ll most likely be meeting a slew of greasy people named Rudy or Rodolfo who can’t wait to show us the amenities. He will boast of the place’s ‘sick vibe’ and we will run our hands over the granite. Am I writing a poem? What’s happening? While I never thought I’d be that guy/girl to be like, ‘welcome to my luxury apartment building,’ I honestly wouldn’t mind having a NICE NEW place to live, as douchey as I might seem living inside of it.

We  only require yard access, a common area, exposed brick, a fireplace, a dishwasher, closets, and a private terrace for the baby kitty. Let the games begin!