butt olympiad

Oh, the Olympics. Dog sitting once again on the Upper West Side, i find myselc abandoning all responsibilities to take in the flat screen and a mirage of summery sports.

An observation: while boys may watch the Olypmics for antiquated man-reasons, girls have a whole other motive alltogether. That’s right. The buttlympics. Jealous, observing, we spitefully (and objectively) discern whose butt is superior to our own, and why.

Though I have to say, my tendency towards the obsessive taking of spinning classes has increased the overall quality of my butt – Any olypmic butt is far superior to that of an average citizen.

The volleyball butt,

610x-1.jpg

The gymnast butt,

2008-olympics-womens-gymnastics.jpg

Swimmy butt,

newzealandswimmingolympictrialsday3dkpoufnwxm8l.jpg

and the root of my most intense envy, runny butt.

p1_laurynwilliams_ap1.jpg

Arguably, if I were super serious, I could spend the next five years at the gym, lifting and squatting and crunching things. I, too, certainly, could have a runny butt.

(Ew. She said runny butt.)

Or maybe instead I’ll just watch the Olympics while the dog licks my belly button. Maybe I’ll just do that.

Leave a Reply