It is important to stand flippantly with friends outside a payless in midtown, en route to Sex and the City (the movie, friends. The movie.)

It is even more important to bring your Gays with you, though they and their Summer Shorts will secretly sneak off to Indiana Jones, and report later of its snake-d and whip-ed splendor. With kindness, you will bestow One Thermos of vodka upon them.

Nextly, it is crucial to patron the one NYC bar owned and run by a tarheel, who just so happened to recently open a new location New You. It’s important to order the fishbowl o’ stuff with the lizard toy dying inside of it. It’s important to pose with it like it’s pretty, because it is.

In said bar, pretend like no one is taking Pictures of you.

Fourthly, I think, voire the film. Enjoy adult beverages hidden in nalgene bottles throughout.

Hoot like it’s Shakespeare when Samantha first enters; boo and cry.  Put the sour patch kids INSIDE of the popcorns. Eat the nacho cheese with your hands. Revel in the sort of bad goodness of this awful, wonderful thing. (Mainly wonderful. Seriously good.)

Carpe the opportunity to be stupid; to pin fake flowers to your shirt and dance. I seriously forget sometimes.