Gooey breakfast sandwiches, homemade peanut butter sandwiches, garlicky green beans, Baby Back Ribs, warm yellow rice piles, roasted chicken things, dirty south cole slaw, butter biscuits smother in chocolate; very frozen Long island Iced Tea with plastic versions of fishlife floating inside of them. All of these things, into your gob they go.

And then:

Cheddar and Chive Mashed Potatoes, Country stuffing with Apples, Sasuage and Sage, Blocks and blocks of brie, Orange Cranberry Relish, big melty warm turkey chunks, Pumpkin Mouse, Chocolate Bourbon Pecan Pie.

Put all of these things in your mouth, because life is too short, and because I say so.

I’m ready to eat.