Today, these things, in no particular order, can suck my metaphorical balls.

First, dear the airplane: suck my metaphorical balls. You are big, stinky, uncomfortable, and late. You are a fat old lady mid-menopause. You stink and suck.


Next up, the airline. Dear the airline: suck my lady balls. You communicate horribly. You make me wait. Your peanuts are stale. Your beer costs too much. Your stewardesses have panty lines. You make me wait for no reason for something I’m not even that stoked about doing. You make me chew on my shirt.


But on a positive note – there are a few things, as my angst and I sit in this stupid chair, looking out into a vast lack of airplanes, that do NOT need to suck my balls. Today, they are:


I don’t know about that ‘peanut’ thing, I do enjoy the ‘nut.’ Also not sucking are liberating thoughts of thoughts of happy one day travels.


Cuba, Si! Vamanos!

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