Fanbase, we have a serious problem. Ms. Castoria – please hold your tongue. Too many little dead tittens, be they small versions of the twats they might become – is a serious problem. And it’s not just a problem of the sweet lil titten – it’s a problem of the lil pup, too. That’s right. The pup. He looks like this.


Hello, the puppy. That’s right, Ms. Castoria. I go as far as to invoke an image of your actual puppy to appeal for your sympathy for the smallish cat.

It costs anywhere from $290 to $600 bucks to neuter or spay your pet. Holy Geez! This i never knew, being that the one time I had a pet, she was dead within a week (RIP, Sophie. RIP.) But now that I am the official temporary owner of ‘The Baby Kitty,’ whislt his Mommy goes to law school, I find myself with an interest in a little thing I will dub ‘pet journalism.’

An article in today’s Daily News highlights this growing problem. Fixing your pet is so expensive. So once mommy gets knocked up, gives birth, and the offspring are given to the pound (to most likely le die) – usually it just happens again, because Mommy is still fertile. In New York, on average, 55 puppies and kittens are euthanized DAILY by Animal Shelters. Now, Ms. Castoria, you might be thinking: they are probably mangey little fuckers anyways, but: what if: yes, what if: they were CUTE.

See, it’s a problem. Solution: Veternarians are now coming together to try and REDUCE the price of fixing your pet, so pet owners will be more encouraged to do so. Prices through special programs may go as cheap as $38 for a man cat and $72 for a bitch. This will cause less abitrary deaths of little pup’s and tittens, which I am all about.

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