You want the boyfriend to grow out his hair. You appreciate boyfriends with more hair. It has more of a tendency to spill into their eyes when they’re excited; and it’s far more likely to be wild and untamed in the morning, when they wake up, confused: but excited you are there.

But then the boyfriend is obedient and grows out his hair. For a long time. The boyfriend, or the boy, rather, is not one to get excited/motivated about spending money on haircuts: picking the time and place; the doing it. The boyfriend’s hair grows and grows, adorable, apathetic.

The boyfriend begins to look like this.

The time has come. You select the appointed hour, and you take the boyfriend into the bathroom. Things then happen, that look like this:

This takes a good twenty minutes. And then it is time to trim the beard, which looks like this:

It’s finished, You go to bed, finding that strange pieces of his old long hair have ended up somehow in your mouth, in addition to everywhere. You fall asleep with your hand on his head because he’s brand new and you can’t help but touch it.