if i were born pretty


i would be a totally different person. I might be bitchy, sluttier, and have more kids or venereal diseases.

i am happy with the cute nose that is me.

my turkey sandwich tastes like cinnamon, but three cheers for welches fruit snacks.

I ride the G train each morning now with a new couple who hasn’t been together long, i don’t think – she says thanks for dinner last night, it was really sweet, he blushes, she kisses his arm, they talk about her cat and how it sleeps on his face, or how she tossed and turned, and the things they are observing about each other’s sleep patterns – as they are just getting used to each other’s sleep.
She gets off at 23 Van Ely St, he goes on to Court Square, and they both most spend the day wondering if the other will call, though they both said call me/ I’ll call you. It is still new and unsure and they can’t yet remember each other’s siblings’ names, or what they are allergic to.

It’s cute.

In two years the population of NYC will swell to 9 million. Would I still want to live here? Or would I rather live near my Mom and we can go on walks together and make beef stew and wrap presents? Or do I want to teach English in Japan or go somewhere else I’ve never been where I don’t know anyone and get really lost and confused before I settle down? Or will I settle down even? Or will I wake up 35 and by myself and steal someone’s kid and take it to cottage? Teach how to ice a cake, put it in dresses, keep it warm, tuck it in at night. Make it read the Boxcar CHildren.

The Box car Children would make a great play/movie. I’m going to read that again. I’m going to buy it online. Right now.


Maybe that kidnap drama play is not as crazy as I think – maybe I am secretly seeing the future.

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