Being that I reference her quite regularly and am constantly baking her breads, I’m sure most to all of America is waiting for me to release a public statement on the recent scandal involving Paula Deen, or: that time the N word was back in the news. And so, most of America, here is my statement, but it’s actually more of a question. This week, she admitted in a deposition that she’s used the N word, towards employees, specifically in 1986. She then released a teary, genuine (I think?) apology to her supporters, stating that she doesn’t condone that language, and that ‘she’s old,’ and that’s how people talked when she was growing up. The next day, the Food Network dropped her, as if she were hot.
Controversial statement: I kind of feel sorry for her. THERE, I SAID IT. I’ve always loved her for her persona and for backstory, the obstacles she overcame: Orphaned in her 20s, married young, broke as all get out, abusive marriage, suffered from panic attacks and agoraphobia, turned to a home-run catering business so that she wouldn’t have to leave the house (or, okay, this is a narrative that’s been created or emphasized for her to make her more appealing as she puts all of her Buhhhhter in, well, everything. If that’s the case, I fell for it.) She busted her butterball to get to where she is, and now, because of something she said years ago, that MILLIONS OF YES, STUPID AMERICANS STILL SAY, BECAUSE THEY ARE STUCK IN THE PAST AND IDIOTS, she’s going to lose it all. I can’t help but feel bad for her. We all say stupid things, and it’s the public figures who really get crucified for it. But in all reality, they should be. If things are going to change, be it with racism, sexism, homophobia, whatever the thing is, we can’t let any sort of discrimination fly.
But, my narcissistic question: is my pity for Paula Deen just a giant indicator of the fact that I am deeply gullible? I always want to see the good in people. Is this bad? I fall for most to all stories, especially those that pull at the heartstrings. Paula Deen, have you tricked me? Are you in fact deeply racist, in a way that few people openly are today? Do you secretly treat your employees cruelly, then slap on a sensitive denim shirt, get your hair done and charm me with muffins? Have I fallen for it? Are you the villain, after all? The worst kind, disguised?