Jewelry They wandering together through the outdoor flea market, stopping to touch things periodically. The dragon statues slept on weed-wackers and the action figures melted into each other. The unicorn tablecloths shared holes with that …
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a fat pussy
Ladies and Gentlemen, the baby kitty. If you pussy is chubby, limit the time he spends sleeping on copies of your Written Word.
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Sylvia Plath
Alright. I have a confession to confess to you. Now, I was raised the Baptist. We express ourselves via the Bundtcake and the Handshake. So this is foreign to me. Um. Hail Mary’s and velveteen …
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A Drunk Stewardess, Even
Please tell me you’ve heard about THIS. Le Wow. On Sunday, August 5th, Airline Steward Sarah Miles took a big hit right in the Gob for all of us girls who Get Drunk at Inopportune …
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Why I Write and Like Clothes
It’s fun to nostalgically re-trace the steps of your life, and figure out exactly why you are the way that you are. Dudes, I ate up some Babysitter’s club. I was obsessed. God bless Anne …
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The Way in which Robots will make Love to eachother
In the future, Robots will make love to each other via files and jpegs. Their declarations of devotion will be titled iminlovewithyou.doc. Their hearts will look like this: Once filled with musings and metallic love …
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Validation; Rejection.
Let’s take a moment to think about how much that looks like a Behind. Okay. So last week, while home, I was eating Chinese with my big Bro Pete. My post-msg fortune read: Chill out …
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Yeah, Bitches!
So I was worried about this one. I’ve been working on this beastdragondramaplaymonster for nearly a year, and I have been so over it. BUT: Lads, Lasses, last night I attended the first read through …
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Chocolate Cake
Perfect. I will not give my chocolate cake manifesto, because it would be giant statingoftheobvious game. You know. I know. Eat it. But If nothing else, Remember this: it is infinitely important to indulge yourself. …
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Kissy McJewerstein
The Jewish Kiss Monster!