Ladies and Gentlemen, the baby kitty. If you pussy is chubby, limit the time he spends sleeping on copies of your Written Word.
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a fat pussy
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alanis gayisette
Okay, hombres. I don’t know about you, but: Jagged Little Pill was my first CD, ever. Words cannot capture the joy of locking myself in my room, popping that little fucker into my player (littered …
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‘work’
Adoring fanbase persons, I’d like to take this opportunity to announce that August 15th will be my last day at Cellfish Media, where I have resided as production assistant intern person who wears grandma …
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travel
Today, these things, in no particular order, can suck my metaphorical balls. First, dear the airplane: suck my metaphorical balls. You are big, stinky, uncomfortable, and late. You are a fat old lady mid-menopause. You …
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Big/Small
I want to go home. Little Brother just got home, kind of sad, kind of drunk. He is Talking about how he’ll miss his good high school friends, then trips over a floor lamp. …
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crying
Let this be known: it is hard to apply make up while crying. One’s face says: Do not put that stuff on me. I don’t want to look pretty right now. I want to be …
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being alive
Today’s steps to reminding yourself that you are Alive, and you Like it. Essentials: 1. Iced Coffee, and how, and lots. 2. A newspaper. 3. An (arbitary) destination 4. Imaginary Money 5. A cellular device …
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DOCKERS
NO. Don’t you DARE. Don’t do It. Grrr.
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Rain
Rain does not look like this, for the Love of Pete. It looks like This: ewwww. It is shit storming rain today in Manhattan, folks, all day. Guaranteed to make you slip and slightly reveal …
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Lilly
Re: my recent trip to the beach, of which I am sure you are all peeing yourselves in anticipation of tepid tales: a Brief Report. Things to be mentioned include: – A 3 hour long …